"Then Will I Make Weak Things Become Strong Unto Them"

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them". -Ether 12:27

I read this scripture my sophomore year of high school. That was the year that I started to procrastinate doing worthwhile things in my life. Before that, I had always been pretty good at doing things on time and not staying up too late to get things done. But my sophomore year, I started to procrastinate. First, just in my Algebra class, then in my science classes, and eventually, it had spread to all of my classes. Procrastination is an awful thing. It will weigh on you and cause you to be unable to perform to the best of your abilities for extended periods of time. I've felt this. I knew that managing my time was my weakness, and that I needed to change. 

Since then, I've been working on how to remedy the situation. I've always kept this scripture in my mind to help motivate me, sometimes when I thought it was impossible. I remember reflecting on how much work I had to do and what little time to do it in. I thought to myself, "How can this ever be a strength for me? How can something I am so bad at ever become something that I am good at, or even enjoy doing? I am too far gone." How wrong I was!

This has definitely been a journey, but I am able to look back at the path I have traveled to get where I am, and I am proud of my progress.

This semester has been a real turning point for me, and I can only hope that I continue to progress :) Every semester before this, I would always try to say to myself, "This semester I am going to do better and stop procrastinating." But then I would never do anything that actually helped me to progress. Sure, I was trying to find things and I would try things that other people suggested, but nothing seemed to work. Last summer I reflected back to Ether 12:27: "for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them". I like "if, then" statements. They make sense to me. If you do this, you receive this blessing. I decided that I would use this as a contract with God: "If I humble myself before thee, and have faith in thee, then you promised me in this scripture: that you will make weak things become strong unto me." I think that doing this itself shows faith. Try to look for scriptures that apply to you, and have faith that Heavenly Father will follow through on His promises to His children, just like He did in ancient scripture stories. He does this because He loves you.

At the start of last summer I started this blog. I decided that I needed to create more avenues in my life where I could be humble and show my faith. This blog has already helped me come closer to my Heavenly Father, and I hope that it will continue to do so. Since then I've been looking for ways to do better and to improve (as you can tell from my previous blog posts).

At the start of this semester, I started out with a new resolve to do better in my studies, time management, and life goals. This time was different though. I asked my Dad for a Father's blessing, which I usually do, but this time I decided to use his blessing like I do with "if then" scriptures. I was going to listen and look for things that I was told to do, and the blessings I would receive. Here are the bullet points that I wrote down after the blessing:

- I will be successful this semester

- I need to love, help, and support my sister this semester

- I will be able to develop successful study habits

- As I put the Lord first, He will help me progress

- I will be able to develop spiritually, physically, mentally, and academically

- I should take time to recognize that I have progressed so far and that I can be happy about it

I wrote these down shortly after I received the blessing from my father, and I put it in my scripture case and forgot about it. Then at the start of the semester, I decided that I needed to schedule time in my life to study the scriptures, read conference talks, and write on this blog. I decided that I cannot do these things at night right before I go to bed, since I am too tired then, and I do not personally get anything out of gospel study when I am winding down for the day. I decided that I needed to do this in the mornings. I reasoned that if I need to do that, I need to go to bed earlier and make time in my schedule for it. 

I sat down one day and thought: I need to make scripture/gospel study a priority in my life. How can I do this?! I decided to browse the internet and see if anyone posted any blog posts that would show how they make time in their schedule for scripture study. I found this blog post by "The Red Headed Hostess" called "How a Busy Mom CAN Study Her Scriptures". I love the ideas she talks about in this blog post. I like that she talks about reading your scriptures in front of your kids as an example. I also like the part where she talks about her "power hour" right when she wakes up where she is able to make her bed, get ready for the day, read her scriptures, reassess goals, and say her morning prayers. She says that for her, the effectiveness of her day is usually determined by how she spends the first hour of her day. I know that that is true for me as well, since for a long time I have been reading my scriptures for a couple minutes before I go to bed, and I know that it does nothing for me when I do that. I was inspired by her example and I decided that if she can change, I can too. 

So I sat down and logically scheduled my week by days/hours so that I would be able to allocate adequate time for all of the activities that I wanted to include in my life. I made scripture/gospel study time a priority. Here is my schedule that I came up with:

I categorized major activities in my life that I need to schedule time for on the left. I then decided (based off of university recommendations and personal insight) for how much time I needed for each activity. I then went to my calendar and blocked out time each day that I could do the necessary activities that I had planned for each day. This has helped me so much! I am a very structural/analytical person, so I like to organize things and have things make sense and have a system. My prayers at the start of the semester consisted of praying that I will be able to develop a system so that I can study my scriptures. Heavenly Father gave me that! My prayer was answered! It didn't all happen at once, I was able to formulate a system that works for me in a few days, but Heavenly Father answered my prayer.

Now I have been able to dedicate time to those things which matter most to me. I can't believe I am about to say this, but I am actually managing my time well! Do you realize how unbelievable this is for me?! I have been struggling with this for 6 years! And Heavenly Father has helped me to start overcoming it!! I am hesitant to say "completely overcome" because I'm not perfect yet, but that's okay. I only expect progression from myself; not perfection. Some of you may say, well why did Heavenly Father make you wait 6 years to start overcoming this? I don't know the reason for that right now, but I know that I learned many valuable lessons in the time that I struggled with procrastination. Henry B. Eyring once said, "The Lord's delays often seem long; some last a lifetime. But they are always calculated to bless. They need never be times of loneliness or sorrow or impatience." I know that whatever trial Heavenly Father gives to me, no matter how hard it is, is calculated to bless me the most. Heavenly Father has created a personal path to exaltation for each of us that will help us become the best person we can be.

I promise that if you have faith in the Lord, and humble yourself before him, the Lord will make your weak things become strong unto you.